Brain Injuries and Total Denial

Denial is common with brain injury survivors. They want to maintain a positive image of themselves and therefore will often deny that they have even had a brain injury. They may instead insist that any problems they have will go away. Denial is the enemy of all survivors and to their relationships.

When survivors are threatened with exposure such as when smoking in an unauthorized area, i.e.: the washroom at a restaurant, or becoming so drunk that they fall down, they may deny that this had happened even when confronted with the truth. These two situations have happened with my partner. It appears to be lying but in actual fact is denial not only to themselves but to others. There can be no progress as long as denial exists.

Often, rather than admit that they have suffered a brain injury, they will focus on other things such as pain from arthritis in their legs or they will blame other people or things for their problems. It is a self-defense mechanism. But it is one that will get them nowhere. It will in fact, sabotage any future progress they may have.

For those who have not accepted their limitations, they feel that denial of them will draw attention away from their problems. Their hope is that others won't suspect there are things they are unable to do. If they refuse to believe that they have a problem, it gives them the excuse of not having to be accountable for their actions.

In order to combat the problems that being in denial cause them, it will be necessary for the survivor to understand and realize what the effects of their injury have on their life. If they can admit that they can and do make mistakes, they will be able to learn from those mistakes and they will not repeat the same ones again.

In order to be able to accept that their abilities are not the same as they once were and that they are not the same person, it will be necessary for them to face their fears. When one is consumed with fear, it increases feelings of loss of power. When this is the case, it is almost impossible for someone to be able to succeed at anything they try to do or to make any progress towards living a satisfying and fulfilled life.

By accepting their limitations, they can acknowledge that they cannot, for example, do the same job they once did. But perhaps there is another way of doing it or there is another job they can do while still working with the same company or a similar one. Or they can acknowledge other talents they have and pursue those. It will just be a different way of living.

Acceptance of their brain injury and of their limitations will increase their enjoyment in living. Denial, avoidance and making excuses are hard work when instead that effort could go into making positive changes in their lives.