Excerpt from 'Roller Coaster Ride With Brain Injury (For Loved Ones)'

Panic Sets In

"One day I was later than usual getting into the hospital. He seemed to be quite annoyed with me and barely acknowledged my presence. Then later when I wouldn't undo his restraints, he said, "Why don't you get the f..... out of here." Although I didn't realize it at that moment, it was the beginning of his quite lengthy period of nastiness.

Because he couldn't remember much of his past, I tried doing memory exercises with him. Often he would stare at me and stubbornly resist doing them or else he would shrug and say nothing, completely ignoring my efforts at trying to help him.

In the Land of the Confused

"On the ward, Larry was assigned a sitter so one of his hands could be unrestrained but he became so violent with her that they were forced to totally restrain him again. While trying to get out of bed, he glared and bared his teeth at her and said, "I have to frigging get out of here." There were times when he directed the same type of anger towards me as well.

He often went off on tangents. At one time he thought one of his friends had something to do with raising me. When one of the nurses asked him questions relating to his health, he told her he had quit smoking three years ago but later was looking all over for cigarettes. Another time he looked at me with shock and asked, "Where are they?"

"Where are what?"

"Our drinks. I just poured them."

One day when my brother came to visit, Larry said, "I drink about six cups of coffee a day and then I go for the hard stuff."

"What's the 'hard stuff', my brother asked?

"That's when I have it with cream and sugar."